After realising that one of my paintings was missing, that the place where I scanned my work around 3 weeks ago had forgotten to give me back “Lonely Hands” and that more than likely they weren’t going to still have it there, I knew for sure that today wasn’t going to be a great day.
They did have “Lonely Hands” (thank god, otherwise I would have started threatening with inmediate lawsuits and other bullshit I could think of from law school that obviously were never going to happen). But (and this is a big “but”) today I had to face my first art critique.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not delusional. I know my artwork is not perfect, needs improving and can’t/won’t be liked by every single person in the planet. I know that, and I’ve made my peace with it. I like people telling me what needs more attention or what they don’t consider good enough, I really do. Without criticism you can never grow because you would be stuck forever believing that there is no room for improving. The thing is, art is not a science and doesn’t always revolve around tecnique. Art is by definition subjective. So, when this person started talking about “proportions”, “lack of realism in certain areas of some paintings” and about the “contrast of colours”, I embraced his opinion with no complaint, eventhough those opinions were way out of the league of someone who has no idea about art, has never painted or drawn and has never gotten into this world AT ALL (therefore considering his opinion as “constructive” was a bit difficult here for me). Then again, it was his opinion so there was no place for me to say anything back.
The problem came when that person basically made fun of me (and I’m not even going to reproduce his literal words) when I told him that there might be someone out there interested in buying/advertising/exhibiting what I do. Well, that is not f*cking okay. It’s even worse and more annoying and hurtful when considering who that certain someone is.
So here I am today; confused, insecure, second guessing myself, and incredibly mad.
But hey, at least it’s Friday…